Fight no matter how life is frightening is a composition that I’ve written last 9th of November 2009. It was my fourth year in college.
What triggered me to write this composition is my difficulty in breathing every time I have an asthma attack.
I can still remember how hard it is to breathe. As if I am drowning and I will die any moment.
Well, let me share it to you. Here’s how the composition goes:
Sometimes, there are these surprising moments in our lives when out of nowhere, we’ll just realize that life is very frightening. These thoughts are entering our minds at times when we are struggling over something and that moment is just so painful that we have already accepted the fact that very sooner or later, we will face our end.
There are times when all we want to do is just give up and surrender everything to God and just let things happen the way they are.
There are certain parts of a day that we don’t want to come because of the fear that we will struggle again, it’s hard to breathe, we don’t know what to do, there are banging noises in our heads and as if we are racing with our own self, and worst, the finish line is our end..death.
Sometimes, we have already accepted the fact that our situation will lead us to our end. The shocking thing is, we are not afraid anymore, not because we are sure that our next destination in our second life is better than the life that we had in this world, but because we are already tired of fighting.
I tried to make a poem last October 9, 2009, when I can’t breathe again, and all I can do is to cry and do self pity. It goes like this;
If I will die, would people cry for me? Would they think that my life is too precious to end that early?
After writing these two lines, I can’t think of any other words anymore. My hand stopped writing.
I paused for a while.
Then I realized, my mind can’t accept the fact that I am already giving up.
I think, it is God’s unique way for me to realize that it’s not yet the end of everything, the fight is not yet over.
Today, I read the poem that I have written last October and I laughed at myself. Right under it, I have written these words;
This was written when I was out of my mind. Life is so beautiful for it to be ended that early. I still have lots of things to do, lots of compositions to write and lots of people to inspire. I will not let my life to end that way, without giving it a good fight. No..God will never allow it to happen. Hello Cherry Ann, still a very long journey over there! Stop the stupidity! Stop messing up with your life!
And now, it’s November 9, 2009..still a very long beautiful journey indeed.
No matter how life is so tiring, all we have to do is pause for a while..rest..God will never let us down when we seek for His help..until the right time comes..for now, we have to seize every second of our lives. Make the most out of it. Fight, no matter how life is frightening!
Okay, so that is what the composition is all about. Kinda heavy, I can still remember the feeling.
Today is August 4, 2017 and I can say that I am totally free from that disease. I never had any single asthma attack since November 2014. And I am currently working in the Middle East. I never really thought of working here because of my condition before but life is kinda surprising sometimes. I also run for a minimum of 4 kilometers everyday. Again, I never thought that jogging would become a part of my daily routines. Life is just so amazing and very surprising!
I am super enjoying my life right now, and I am starting to write again.
I want to stop writing sometimes because I can’t think of anything to write about but people who became very successful in this life once said, “You can only truly fail if you quit. “
So I guess, I have no other choice, I need to continue writing to make a difference.